Progress

I met someone on the weekened while doing my usual things. I think he likes me but not sure? Not sure if I like him myself actually. But he seems like a really really nice guy. I will be seeing him again this weekend so I will keep you informed!

I'm really hopeless at these things. I'm never good at the signals they give out and I'm not good at returning the signals!!!! This time I will try. Any suggestions?

I think another friend is trying to introduce me to another guy this weekend as well. So will see how that ones goes too!

Well at least I am making progress! : )

Exercise

Wonder what he is doing this weekend? Ummmm.... Let me guess.... Going out to a nice place to listen to some jazz/music? Should be doing some bike riding sat or sun perhaps or just going to a friends place to catch up?

Don't know what I could write these few weeks as I've told him not to contact me so nothing to write about him really beside that I'm missing him. But I can't write that for every post these few weeks?

How about the next few weeks I'll try to get back to my life before him? Get back to my exercise routine?? Im going for a hike this sun. Then I'll try and go back to my swimming. Sort of neglected that a bit as lately I just want to stay at home and cry. But I'll try and make myself do other things! I will be ok (I hope!!) and very soon too!!!

Can't Concentrate

I've noticed I haven't been able to concentrate at work for a while now. My work is not getting done. I am double checking everything incase I make mistakes. I am just not motivated to work anymore. My mind is always thinking about him and its driving me crazy.

I was thinking back, why am I so upset this time round? It could be because we broke up when I was really really happy in the relationship. The timing of the breakup was at a time I least expected. If our love was dying off or we were starting to be unhappy then it wouldn't have hurt so much. But we broke up right when I started becoming very comfortable with him. Right when I was settling in. Right when I found I really fell in love with him.

I know there is nothing I can do now but to just live on without him. If I tell him what I am thinking, all he will feel is to feel sorry for me. Feel bad that he has hurt me. Feel bad that I am still feeling hurt. He will not do anything to help me. The only thing he can do is just to leave me alone.

I'm glad I have sort of blocked him off most things so I dont know what he is upto. Dont know where he is and what he is doing.

I will try and stay strong and move on.....

Silent love

Is it ok to just love someone knowing they will not return the love? I dont know? But I've decided that is what I will do.

I do still love him. Even though he does not love me anymore.  He cannot stop me from loving him. I wont tell him I still love him. I will just love him silently. If he needs me, I will be there for him. If he doesn't then I will just silently hope the best for him.

I sometimes do wonder 'does he ever miss me anymore?'. I assume the answer is no. He will only pity me. I dont want anyone to pity me.

But by continuing to love him will mean I will continue to feel hurt. I have tried to forget him but cant. I have tried to find ways to reduce my level of hurt but cant. So all I can do now is to continue to love and continue to be hurt. I dont know what other choice I have.

Leave me alone!

Now my previous ex is contacting me? Wanting to catch up as he is coming back home. I think I need a break from guys in general. Can both these guys just leave me alone! : (

Both of them has a gf now so can't they just leave me alone! I really cant be bothered seeing any of them!