Sick

Sick on new years eve! :(

Will stay in bed all day. Hoping to get better asap so can party tonight with my friends. Will go out no matter what state I'm in : )

Thinking of him today. When your sick you hope for someone you love to take care of you! But I don't have this special person right now. So all I could think was all the happy and special moments we had together. Everyday was memoriable. Everyday was special. Everyday was magical. The feeling was just so unique with him. The feeling I have never felt with anyone else before. So comfortable and so right. Will I be able to find someone else with the same stong connection again? I really hope so. I will never forget the time we spent together. The sweet memories will stay with me forever.

Sunny

Another nice sunny day! : ) Went fruit picking with a bunch of friends. Had so much fun! I'm liking my holidays!!! Wish it was longer! : )

I've noticed no contact with him is so nice! No wondering if I will bump into them. No need to wonder when he will contact me (cos he won't). That feeling is so much more relaxed!!! So free! So nice!! So I've decided I will definitely suggest to him no contact for a while. Will be good for me!! : )

Contact

I'm feeling fine today. Went out with friends to do some exercise then yum cha. Then went to a friend's place to celebrate her bday. Weather was really nice. So was just a perfect day! :)

Im really considering when he comes back from holidays to suggest if he can not contact me for a while. It's been nice that I haven't heard from him. I don't mind hearing from him, I don't mind seeing him but I guess I don't want to hear what they are doing together especially if they are doing things that he normally does with me.

I don't know how he can still talk to me without implying what they are doing together. So maybe not hearing all together is the best option. I will miss hearing from him but guess I better do what's best for me. My only concern is once I suggest this we might not talk again like before. Do I want to risk this? I guess if we are meant to chat we will chat again in the future. If he doesn't need me anymore and doesn't feel a need to chat to me anymore then we won't. Guess that's a risk I have to take.

Death

The 2nd death this month!!!! : ( Another coming within next few days??? 3 deaths in one month is really hard to handle. When I heard the news of the 2nd death I just collapsed. Crawled into bed and just cried.  Life is so fragile.  Loved ones dont love you anymore and disappear, friends and family members just leave you forever.  Anymore bad news to come? I hope not! This is enough for me.

I hope in 2011 all I hear is good news. No more of this.... wont be able to handle anymore.

When you are sad all you want is your partner to just be there for you. Just lend you a shoulder. Just give you a hug. But I dont have that priviledge anymore. I only have myself and I cry on my own.

Miss

Today I have the miss him feeling : ( Guess if you spend the whole day with someone who is also single, it somehow brings out the 'we are both single' feeling. We saw a lot of sweet couples and yes that makes me miss the couple feeling.

There is nothing I can do about it. So I'll try not to feel the missing bit too much. But I guess its not easy to forget how nice it feels to have the sweet company.

Don't worry I will find my new sweet company soon!!! I know you are out there. Can you stop hiding and appear soon?? : )