Replaced

I found the feeling of being replaced is more hurtful than being lonely!

Yes I can see he is trying his best not to mention about them and what they are doing but its not hard to guess. Knowing that they are doing what we had previously planned and hence the feeling of being replaced is very very hurtful.

I am beginning to consider whether I should tell him not to contact me at all for a while. That might actually be more helpful to me. I dont have a problem talking to him or seeing him. But I can feel I am not ready to see them together. Just knowing what they are doing together already hurts let alone physically seeing it. And I cant see how he can not talk about them. So many things are implied that if he is going somewhere, she will be there. So there is really no difference whether he tells me or not. I will sort of get the hint anyway.

I will give it a go a few more weeks. And if I cant handle it I will need to tell him I do not want to hear from him for a while.

Each time he writes to me I am totally fine. Its only when he mentioned her, then I break down in tears!

I dont know how long I can keep this up for. I'm trying to cope and move on but its not easy. But I will try my best!