Terrible

I feel terrible this morning. He is back from holidays. Why does that affect me? I dont know? How can I stop feeling terrible? Why do I have to feel terrible. Why do I feel terrible when he is back? What should I do? How can I stop this feeling? I hate it! : (

It was suppose to be a wonderful start to 2011 but now I dont feel it at all! : ( Why does he still effect me? I was going good while he was gone? Why cant he be gone for longer?

I don't understand why he effects me so much. Did I really like him that much. I didn't think I did but maybe I do. But he is gone and there is nothing I can do about it now. I can't stop myself from thinking about him so if I have to then I just do. If I have to cry then I just cry. I will be better soon. I just have to keep motivating myself to keep busy.

I hope he is currently going ok with his new gf. I know I can't give him the happiness he is after so I really hope she can give it to him. I really hope she will be really nice to him so he won't get hurt. I don't want to see him get hurt. I dont want to see him feeling so hurt like how I am feeling now. I hope he stays happy forever.